Frequently asked Questions
How can I tell if I’m an introvert?
There is no official diagnosis for introversion. It’s part of your temperament and is likely not to change.
However, you will probably recognise yourself in some of these examples:
It is likely that you are quieter than some of your peers. You probably enjoy spending time alone, are a deep thinker and notice things that other people miss. You may also find it uncomfortable to speak up in class or with a group of friends. Large groups and loud environments might drain you, but it doesn’t mean that you don’t like being with people. However, they need to be the right people. You also find that time alone recharges you. If all or any of this resonates with you, you are probably introvert.
You can also take my introversion quiz here.
Being introverted isn’t the same as being shy, although you can be both. Shyness is linked to social anxiety, whereas introversion is down to temperament. The good news is that you can learn to manage shyness and social anxiety so you don’t need to feel that it holds you back.
Although it may not seem like it, as much as 50% of the population is introverted, but we have all spent much of our lives being encouraged to speak up, to join in and to be more outgoing, which means we aren’t always easy to spot. This may mean that people who are introverted don’t always seem that way. However, it’s important to work with your introvert tendencies rather than trying to be extrovert. Extroversion works brilliantly for extroverts, whereas introverts need to do things their own way.
Also, being introverted doesn’t mean that you can’t achieve certain things. You can do whatever you want, but it will be easier if you work with your quiet nature rather than against it.
Is there something wrong with me being an introvert?
No there isn’t. You may have picked up that introversion is somehow ‘less than’ from the media, from school or from your peers, but it’s not true.
So many famous people are introverts. Did you know that Steve Wozniak (cofounder of Apple and creator of the Apple I computer) said that Apple would not exist if he had been an extrovert? It was his quiet, reflective temperament, creative problem solving and attention to detail (all introvert strengths) that created one of the world’s most successful brands.
Will you try to make me (or my teen) extroverted?
No, that’s not what my approach is about. Whether doing one of my courses, workshops or coaching, I work to help you (or your teen) understand what introversion is and how it is not something that needs to be fixed. Extroversion works brilliantly for extroverts, but introverts need to do things their own way. This doesn’t mean missing out on opportunities, it means achieving whatever you set your mind to, while employing introversion to your advantage. By understanding how you or your teen are wired, you will learn invaluable tools and techniques that will help for years to come.
Are shyness and social anxiety the same as introversion?
Shyness and social anxiety are not the same as introversion. Anyone can be affected by shyness or social anxiety: introvert, extrovert or ambivert. You can learn tools and strategies to help you manage, and indeed conquer, shyness and social anxiety. I can help you with this. Neuroplasticity means that the brain can literally rewire itself.
Being introvert, extrovert or ambivert is your temperament and will likely not change. Did you know as much as 50% of the population is introverted, so they are absolutely not a minority?
Why does it matter if I’m an introvert?
It doesn’t matter in one sense, because being introverted doesn’t stop you from achieving anything you want to. However, it can be helpful to understand if you are introverted as you will be able to approach life in an introvert-friendly manner rather than trying to be something you’re not.
Managing your energy is one of the most important things that you need to learn to do and introverts’ energy supplies drain and recharge differently to extroverts.
When I found out I was introvert, so much of my life, my preferences and my choices made sense: such as wondering why I felt drained after being with friends – even if I’d had a really great time -, my I need peace and quiet to concentrate, that I found it hard to join a group of people I didn’t know, or stand up in front of others and give a presentation, and even why I don’t like picking up the phone to call people I don’t know well. I was able to stop trying to make myself change and I now am far more confident than I ever was when I thought of my introversion as a flaw.
Do I need to become extrovert?
No, you don’t! You will be most successful when you work with who you are rather than against your quiet nature.
Remember introverts can do anything they want to. You simply need to work out the right way for you to approach it.
Is being an introvert a bad thing?
Absolutely not! Being an introvert means you have a lot to offer. We need introverts, extroverts and ambiverts as they all have different strengths to offer. None is better or worse than the other.
However, due to the extrovert ideal in society, introverts sometimes feel that they need to be fixed or they are somehow lacking, as they are constantly being expected to speak up, to join in and to be more outgoing. Life doesn’t have to be that way, though.
I can show you how to understand and even embrace introversion to help make your life less stressful and work better for you.
How will I benefit from coaching, courses and workshops?
There are many benefits that you may experience including:
- Less stress and anxiety – at home and at school
- Improved communication at home, at school and with friends.
- Better understanding and self-awareness
- Greater resilience
- Increased clarity and focus
- Higher self-esteem and self-confidence
Generally, life will just feel easier and you will feel confident in knowing that you understand yourself or your teen better and have strategies to help whatever life throws at you.
Having me as your coach is like having someone permanently in your corner encouraging you to make the changes you want and helping you stay on track.
What is coaching?
Quite simply, coaching is a conversation with purpose. That purpose being to help you or your teenager reduce stress and anxiety by understanding their introversion and to help you learn the best ways to support and communicate each other. Life will work better for you all.
Our sessions will help reduce stress and overwhelm. By understanding introversion, you will feel like a weight has been lifted.
I will be with you or your teen every step of the way, supporting and encouraging you at all times.
How do I know if now is the right time to work with you?
I’m guessing things aren’t as you’d like them to be at the moment, which is why you are here. However, only you can tell for sure if now is the right time for you.
I can promise that coaching is always helpful and there is no such thing as too early or too late.
I guarantee that if you choose to work with me, I will do my best to help you or your teen make the changes you want to make and support you along the way at your own pace.
If you want to find out more, how about you arrange a time to talk?
Is what we talk about confidential?
Yes it is. As your coach anything that happens in our sessions remains between us, so you can feel confident that what we discuss is private. I will not share what we have talked about with your parent or your child unless you have explicitly agreed to this. Sometimes sharing can be helpful, but that is your decision.
How do I know if you're the right coach for me?
Ultimately only you can decide that. However, a good rapport with your coach is essential so you can feel that you trust them and know that they’ve got your back.
As a quiet person myself, I understand and really empathise with the challenges that you or your child are facing – I may even have been there myself.
I am a passionate supporter of all my clients and I will do everything in my power to encourage and support you as we work together. I’m happy to have a chat to help you decide how you want to proceed. You can arrange a time here.
Everything I do comes from a place of support, compassion, encouragement, honesty and kindness. With a bit of accountability too.
All our sessions will be unique and tailored to your needs. There is no one size fits all approach. And I really care that my clients get the most possible from our sessions, so you can guarantee that I am 100% focused on you at all times.
I am a qualified coach, member of the Association for Coaching and the International Coaching Federation, two of the industry leading professional bodies, which, in a largely unregulated industry, means that you can trust that I know what I’m doing and how best to help you. I have a DBS certificate too.
You also may find reading testimonials from previous clients helpful.
How do I know you’re NOT the right coach for me?
Coaching is powerful and will help most people significantly, but you need to want to make changes and be prepared to put in some effort. Some people expect a coach to wave a magic wand and find that their life has magically transformed. This is an unrealistic and unhelpful expectation – and denies the true power of coaching.
I’m a realistic optimist because I know that we are all capable of great things and I love supporting my clients as they achieve great changes.
Also, if you think that being introvert is something that needs fixing so that you or your child can become an extreme extrovert, I am not the coach for you. Being introvert is wonderful and has its own special strengths and powers. You can do anything you want to do by being yourself in all your quiet glory – not by trying to be an extrovert.
As part of the coaching process, you or your teen will understand what it means to be introvert and how you can use that knowledge to help you. This means you will feel more confident and have higher self-esteem while being authentic and true to yourself.
I will be there to help and support you, while keeping a safe space where you can be truly heard.
Accountability is part of what I do, and you may need a nudge every now and then to keep things on track. This will come from a place of compassion rather than as some kind of tough love (not my bag at all!).
What do your courses involve?
The courses contain a mix of video, reading and worksheets across the modules. I would expect to spend 1-1.5 hours per module. Once you have completed a module you can go back and rewatch, reread or complete anything as many times as you like.
Coaching seems like a big investment; how do I know it’s worth it?
You or your teen will benefit from coaching for the rest of your lives; through the changes you make, and the tools and strategies you’ll learn as part of the process. Investing in yourselves is one of the most valuable things you can do.
Our sessions will give you or your teen the clarity and focus to make you happier and calmer long-term; unlike lots of other things that we spend money on that only make us feel happier in the short term (a daily coffee, or the jacket that you just have to have).
You’ll know that you have a plan whatever life throws at you, including being able to talk so you are heard, without having to shout.
I am an expert at what I do and feel confident that I can help you.
You can read about how some of my previous clients have benefited from working with me here.
I’m scared, how do I know this will help?
It’s normal to feel unsettled about making changes. However, deciding to do one of my courses or have coaching is one of the bravest things you can do. It means you realise that enough is enough and something has to change.
Maybe you’ve read the books, watched the videos and listened to the podcasts, but you’re still not where you want to be. I can give you the help and support you need to move forward and thrive.
It’s hard making changes on your own. As an experienced coach, I can help support that process, while making sure that we always work at your pace. With coaching, finding peace and understanding will be easier and more effective than working on your own. You will feel like a weight has been lifted.
I’m really busy, do I have enough time?
Simply the fact that you are here suggests that you feel something needs to change. My courses and coaching are effective and I am an expert at what I do. In fact, it could be the most productive use of your time right now.
Imagine how you will feel when introversion is something that you are able to fully understand and embrace and you can be confident that you or your teen are heard. I’m guessing it feels pretty good. This is the feeling that working with me will give you.
Allowing time to help yourself or your teen is essential. I’m wondering how you make time for other things that are important for you and how you can prioritise the help that coaching will give you.
There is a lot of evidence coaching is effective. And it is quicker and more effective to work with a coach than trying to do the work alone.
Generally, I suggest meeting every two weeks to start with moving to monthly check-ins to keep everything on track. You may want to reflect or try things out in between sessions, but there is no ‘homework’ as such.
What does it cost?
I offer a range of options from a one-off session to 3, 6 or 12 month programmes. You can also contact me direct if you would like to create a bespoke plan.
It amazing the change that can happen after just a few sessions. In most cases you will start to see significant changes after 4-8 sessions.
That’s one of the reasons I find what I do so exciting: it’s highly effective. Investing in your teen or your own development will be of the most beneficial things you will ever do.
Why not book a free call to find out more and see if we’re a good fit to work together. You can book a time here.
Where are you based and, if I'm not local, what do I do?
Due to Covid restrictions, I am working online or over the phone with all my clients so geography is not an issue. Just let me know what works best for you.
Do you have a coach?
Absolutely. My own development, both personal and professional, is essential for me to be great at what I do and to keep my life in balance too!